So, I have to share something that just gave me great motivation this week. I sat down to watch a little TV this week and a documentary of the movie “Jaws” was on. I got sucked in right away because they were talking about the struggle that Steven Spielberg was having around feeling inadequate and insecure about directing a film of this magnitude. And I thought, “Man, I can relate and if someone who has the credentials like Spielberg once dealt with these same feelings that I am dealing with I wanna know how he turned it around.

Spielberg was a fairly new director in 1974 when the movie was made. And he wasn’t the studio’s first choice. They had already hired someone and right before shooting his vision for the film was different than the studio’s, so they let him go and gave Spielberg the shot. He was given 65 days to shoot the film and no written script. They wanted him to shoot in a tank or lake, but he refused and said it must be shot in the ocean. That decision caused havoc with the shoot by causing the mechanical shark to constantly malfunction and delayed shooting for hours to days because of weather or currents or ships in the background. At one-point during production, Spielberg was about to quit but changed his mind and stayed on the picture.

Spielberg stayed committed to the project. He was quick to adapt and brought in professionals to help write the scripted daily. When it was clear that the shark was not going to be able to be used in the way initially intended, scenes were reblocked without the shark but still using the unseen mystery that something was there, which is actually one of the key elements to the films success.

In the end, if you looked at the project on paper is was an abysmal failure. It went over schedule by 94 days and over budget by $9M. Richard Dryfuss, one of the main actors, gave an interview saying the movie was going to be a huge disappointment. The studio would be happy if they broke even.

But in the end, we all know what a blockbuster success Jaws was. What seemed like a failure at the time was one of the greatest films of all time. What started with feelings of inadequacy and insecurities resulted in confidence and surety. I can imagine anytime after the filming Jaws and he started feeling anxious about a project, he could go back to all the lessons he learned from that project. With a career like his, it seems he learns quickly as well as being adaptable. This is what I took away from his story.

I somehow feel more connected to him, and all of you, after this documentary. We are all human with human feelings that we can choose to succumb to or to challenge. We are not alone traveling in this crazy, confusing world. I believe in me, and I believe in you. We can all face our fear that is stopping us from being who God intended us to be.

Do you relate to this story? Is there someone else’s story that gave you strength and encouragement? This is why we are all here, to share and help each other. I would love to hear how you’ve been helped.

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (ECC 3:1).

My season is changing. This is a new season for me, coming with new, unfamiliar feelings. I am in between grateful to watch each of my boys grow into strong men, to mourning that each are grown and no longer need me.

I don’t think it is about the empty bedrooms the boys have left. I don’t think it’s about the empty schedule. For me, I think it is more about not having a clear picture of this next season. The older I have gotten, the more certainty I seem to want. I want to know what to expect next, and I don’t.

My question to myself is, do I need to know? Can I deal with each day as it comes? Will it become easier each day? This is what I am hoping. And as I do, I hope to see the purpose, like the Bible says.

But right now, I am staying open to feel all the feels. Letting each moment be exactly what it is. So when the sad hits, I will let the tears come. Or when Jason and I are enjoying the free time so we can do more together, I will cherish that too.

“Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence.

Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance.

Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence.

Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance.”

― Yoko Ono